Thoughts on Thursday

Because I just need to take a little break and mentally dump out and get rid of things that are weighing too heavy on me right now.

Work has gotten back to a really bad place for me.  It's often feeling so bad that I don't know if I see a light at the end of the tunnel.  If anything, my only reprieve may be a bearable day or two here and there, but the majority of days being not good. 

I could deal with the frustration or the hardship a little better if it wasn't every day....or if it just meant longer hours.  But really, the situation has gotten to a point where I feel unable to do my job well.  I would really like to come in here each day, try my hardest, get some things done, treat others kindly and with respect, and wrap up at the end of the day and go home. 

Instead I find myself tensing up as I get closer to the office in the mornings, running around like crazy, not getting help or guidance, colleagues who don't play fair (or just leave me out of the loop entirely) and I leave each day feeling like I have been beaten up.  And I feel like I have little actual work done for the day and nothing to show for all my efforts. 

I can't talk to MVP about it because it stresses him out and that, in turn, makes the whole situation worse for me.  Right now I feel really alone.  Alone in my office all day, alone on a ledge (so to speak) on most of my projects, alone on figuring things out.  Just alone.