Concert Notes

Last week I went to a concert at WolfTrap, one of my favorite venues in the DC area. Many people like it because a perk of getting lawn seats (besides them being cheaper) is that you can bring in your own food and drinks, including beer and wine. I know, so great, right? People bring in honest to god pic-a-nic baskets, brimming with fruit and cheese platters, pita chips and hummus, little stakes that go into the ground to hold your wine glass, the works. Usually you see these sort of spreads with a group of all ladies, or when the wives/girlfriends of the group were in charge of bringing the food. Otherwise it is a sure sign of a second/third date where the guy is trying hard to impress or a sprinkling of gay men.

Personally, I happen to like it because it is always a fabulous place for people-watching. Maybe it’s because with all that booze readily available in front of you and no need to go purchase it at a concession stand, people may tend to drink a little more than they normally would. The people watching last week was pretty great and I wanted to share some of the highlights with you.

• Sitting on a lawn is a little more quaint and cozy that being in the seated area. You can spread out your blanket, have your snacks and relax. But just because you’ve created a space that looks like your living room does not mean you are in your living room. So while the music may make you feel a bit amorous, please refrain from laying ON TOP of your concert companion. Ew. Maybe it had been awhile since they got some lovin’ but come on, for the love of god. Wait until you are home in your house/apt/condo, cocooned by all the Williams Sonoma, Pottery Barn, and Crate & Barrel sh*t people bought you off your wedding registry. Cause I bet you ten bucks, looking at all those pots and pans and place settings and vases and matching cloth napkins gets your lady WAY more excited than any song could.

• Again, while it may feel like you are in your living room, you are actually out on a big lawn, so if you are speaking in a raised voice, everyone around you can hear your dorky/inappropriate/annoying conversations. And I promise you we don’t care about the new software at work/a weird rash you noticed/which Real Housewives are your favorites.

• For some reason, all old white people dancing look like they are stoned to me. Unless they are at a wedding. In which case I know they are dancing like that because they are smashed.

• You all look ridiculous in these so please stop wearing them. Seriously, we are in DC people, not an extras casting call for Season 3 of “Miami Vice.”

• There is no brandy snifter with dollar bills shoved in it on the stage. That means the band is not generally going to TAKE REQUESTS FROM THE AUDIENCE. So for the love of granola, please stop yelling out for them to “PLAY (insert obscure song name here)” They have a set list and generally stick to it. You are shouting from the lawn and they can’t hear you. And looking at you, I am sure you played all the band’s CDs on the drive here so go play that song on the way home and shut the hell up.

• Just because a tank top claims it has a “shelf bra” does not mean that is going to be sufficient support for you. Seriously, I was with a guy and we both agreed it didn’t look sexy…it looked borderline NatGeo Aborigine disgusting.

• While you aren't out at a bar, it doesn’t mean you still can’t be “that girl” so please let’s keep each other in check out there ladies. I’m looking at you laughing hyena girl…all of the guys and a few of the girls in your group looked like they were ready to punch you in the face. I was ready to let them pay me to do it so they didn’t have to live with the guilt of roughing up one of their own. In hindsight, I should have – it would have been a win-win for all of us.

Thank You seems to be the hardest words

One of the most basic things that parents teach their children once they are first starting to talk and interact with other people and children is to use the word “Please” followed appropriately by “Thank You.” At least I HOPE parents and teachers are still enforcing the use of please and thank you these days. Recently, I have found myself saddened that I rarely hear the word please used by adults any more and the use of thank you has become all but nonexistent.

Thank you matters in ALL facets of your life. I was really surprised to learn how infrequent thank you notes have become not just in networking for new job opportunities but in following up with people after interviews. Can it sometimes be a huge pain in the ass? Abso-freaking-lutely. For my current job, I interviewed with 17 different people when all was said and done. And it definitely took time and energy to write out 17 thoughtful and unique thank you notes (because you know they are going to get together and compare – so copy and paste just won’t do) but I know it made a really great impression on my now employer and bosses. When I found myself interviewing candidates for the temp replacement for my assistant, I only got one thank you note. And that was only after that candidate found out she did NOT get the job.

It matters in the work place – thank you to the geeky IT staff member means not only that you truly appreciated them quickly responding to your critical emergency (facebook froze your computer) but ensures that they will promptly answer your calls and emails in the future. Remembering to thank office staff and secretaries will make your work life easier in ways you may not even imagine at the time – copy jobs will get finished faster, your office supply order will mysteriously get bumped to the front of the line. And in my line of work….when a lawyer puts me through HELL to get something done for them, the ones that say thank you are the ones I am going to go out of my way to help in the future.

If you are in a sales or service-oriented business, doesn’t remembering to thank people seem like a no-brainer? Thanking someone for their repeat business or thanking someone for making a purchase with you in the hopes that they will become repeat customers or refer additional business to you.

Or maybe you have done fundraising for a cause that you are passionate about or even helped a your child or a friend’s child sell cookies/candy/etc. to raise money for something related to their school or youth group. Have you remembered to thank people for their donations or efforts? An actual thank you note (email acceptable, old-school handwritten preferred)…not just a facebook status update thanking people far and wide. Make people know how they individually contributed to your effort and what that meant to you. That carries a whole lot more weight than a virtual shout out on a social networking website (that you can’t even be sure they read anyway).

Incorporating thank you into your everyday vocabulary isn’t that hard when you think about it. Thank the bus driver (I wave to mine every day after I get off the bus), thank your coffee barista, thank the checkout person at the grocery store. Thank your friend/significant other/roommate for something simple, like taking out the trash or forwarding you an email that they thought would interest you.

And then make an effort to be a bit nicer and do things worth getting thanked for. Sometimes this is something really simple that everyone loses sight of in our day-to-day and getting mired down in the details or our own all important lives and routines. Your “thank you” could totally make someone else’s day, and that’s a pretty cool thing.

I once had someone tell me that I seemed very “Southern” in my attempts to make every day use of good manners. I took that as one of the best compliments ever. Being gracious is not something that just comes naturally – it is a habit to be learned, practiced, and cultivated until it becomes second nature. You have to want it, it doesn’t just come to you one night while you are asleep.