Woeful Weekend, now what?

It’s Monday. If you live/work in DC chances are you won’t be reading this because it is a Federal Holiday and you have the day off from work. So hopefully you are out and about enjoying the great weather today. Reason #1,653 to hate my law firm life – no observance of Federal Holidays.

To make this day just that much more enjoyable, WMATA planned major track work on the Blue/Orange lines that would keep all the stations near my office out of commission over the weekend (no big deal) and then also today (uh…how am I going to get to work?) My normal bus route also doesn’t run on Holidays (seriously Columbus, you are really screwing with my day today) so I had to plan a complicated alternate route into work today. The little 4.5 mile distance between my apartment and my office ended up taking roughly 2 hours. Really, I should have just walked.

So all this free time on my hands this morning gave me too much time to do what I am a gold medalist at -- thinking too much and worrying.

I emailed two close friends recently, not really to discuss anything in particular let alone anything that I have on my plate right now (because sometimes you know better than to burden other people) but I referenced this sort of funk I go through every year – Birthday Hangover. The BH has nothing to do with if there were any real fun celebrations or activities that one would need to actually recover from (although I was so very happy that this year there were.) I think I tend to view all my adult birthdays as my own annual performance review for my life – what progress has been made, what goals have been accomplished, what are the areas for improvement, where might there be cause for concern. And someone else should really start doing these reviews for me because I am way too harsh on myself for my own good. (And as a side note, no, I was not as harsh on Temp Assistant!)

Saturday was kind of a sad day. I can’t say that it was any one thing. Probably more of a culmination of the feeling of too many things going on or too many worries lately. So I just spent the day alone. Like all alone, did not leave my apt, alone. I can be a bit of a hermit sometimes, usually it passes just as quickly as it happens. I was supposed to go out that night, but the plans fell through and I guess it was just as well. I probably wasn’t great company for anyone anyway.

Yesterday I tried for a better day. I forced myself up early and out of the apartment to run errands. Between groceries and other bags there was too much stuff to take up in one trip. First trip done and I thought “Oh it would be smart to take the trash out when I go for the rest of the bags!” So I did, feeling pretty darn proud of my being so effective and efficient. And I guess to balance out all that smart thinking, I realized on the way back from the car to the apartment that I my apt keys were back IN the apartment. That’s right, I had managed to lock myself out.

Yes, I keep my car and apartment keys separate (because I only ever drive on the weekends.) Yesterday I was just grateful I at least had my key card to get into the apt building. I am guessing from the crack on it that it had managed to break OFF of my apt key ring – awesome.

“Ok,” I thought quite calmly, “I will just go to the Property Manager’s apartment and pay the fine and get let back in. Sh*t happens, what can you do.” So I went to their apt (located in my own building thankfully) and knocked. I saw their one car outside which was a good sign, and I could hear the television on through the door. So I knocked again. I knocked LOUDER. I used the actual Door Knocker (maybe they were being a stickler about that?) and NOTHING. No response. I was knocking at all sorts of levels in various patterns and with varying amounts of force for a good 30-40 minutes. I tried knocking on other people’s doors and no one answered. Probably just as well because what was I going to ask them to do for me?

Now I panicked. What was I going to do? I had no phone to call anyone and didn't even have my wallet, it was all locked up safe and sound in the apt. Roommate was not going to be home for another couple days. I had the car key, the key card for the building, the shopping bags and that’s it. So I hauled my shopping bags back OUT to my car, got in and drove to my friend K’s apt. Literally praying Hail Marys out loud in the car to both calm myself down and ask God to please do me a solid and have her be at her apt.

I parked the car and ran up to the door…and could not for the LIFE OF ME remember her apartment number. So I just started dialing the different numbers on her floor – hey, at least I knew the right floor. And sometimes people would pick up, and sometimes they wouldn’t. Sometimes they spoke English, most times they didn’t. A few people got very nasty with me. One told me to leave before they called the police -- in hindsight, maybe I should have let them as my next thoughts involved going to a police station cause I didn’t know what else to do at that point. So after yelling her name a few times on the verrrrrryyyyyyy off chance she could hear me, I gave up and went back to my car. I got in and shut the door and just cried.

Cried because I was frustrated with myself and the situation. Cried because I seriously had nowhere to go and didn’t know what else to do. Sadly we have NO friendly neighbors in our apt. building. Not one. We have 2 groups that are always outside smoking so I thought maybe I could ask one of them if I could use their phone. But who would I call? The only number I know by heart anymore is my Pop-Pop’s. And he lives in New Jersey, so I don’t know what he could do to help me.

I was driving back to my apt, still crying because I felt so very alone. I didn’t have anyone who might try and text/call me and get concerned if I didn’t respond. I had no one expecting me somewhere on a lovely Sunday evening. I had nowhere to go and no one to worry about me.

Rational Deviled Megs was trying to think:
“Well couldn’t I just sleep in my car if I have to?”
“Hopefully the Prop Mgr will be better about answering their door during normal business hours tomorrow.”
“What if I sleep in the hallway outside my apt - will one of my crappy neighbors have a heart and realize something is wrong and offer to call the Prop Mgr for me?”

But she was getting wayyyyyyyyy overshadowed by Anxious & Worrisome Deviled Megs:
“Wait, is the Prop Mgr office going to be closed for Columbus day?!?”
“I can’t believe I know no one’s phone number that could help in a time like this.”
“Where can I go? I have a car but do I seriously have no place to go??”
“I can’t remember when I have ever felt this alone and helpless.”

And that last statement is a doozy. Because I do just about everything on my own and have for a loooooong time. I had a thought a while back that I was getting worried that just because I have gotten so adept at being self sufficient and independent that people just expect me to be okay that way, or worse, think that I really enjoy it. I do enjoy that I have the capability to do it. I don’t enjoy that yesterday I realized I could be in trouble or need help and have no one to worry about me or come looking for me.

Then Rational Deviled Megs took over and said, “This is bullsh*t. Someone is HOME in the Prop Mgr’s apt. So I will go back there and bang on that door until someone answers dammit!”

Which is what I did. Banged and pounded on the door for about 20-25 more minutes until I then started shouting AT the door. I had even found a pen and paper in my car and scribbled a PLEASE HELP note that I was ready to slide under their door until the Prop Mgr’s husband finally answered the door. And gave me such an angry “Why are you interrupting my watching football look” that I started to cry again. As I explained my situation I think he genuinely felt bad for me and gave me the keys to go upstairs and let myself back in to my apt.

I have never run up those stairs so fast in my life. When I got inside the door I felt such a wash of relief I almost needed to sit down. I collected myself and went back downstairs to return the keys. I thanked him profusely and returned back upstairs to my apartment.

And like that, I was alone again. I was still kind of upset about the whole ordeal and called my Mom. No answer. She regularly screens calls and sometimes I don’t make the cut so I didn’t even feel like trying to call her other line. And calling my Dad (if he even answered) would have gotten me a long lecture about how to NOT lock myself out of the apt.

I tried convincing a friend to come have drinks with me, watch some football/baseball. As usual, I got a “No.” Another friend was off on a date, so…back to being alone. At least now I was INSIDE my apartment, so it was definitely an improvement over crying in my car, don’t get me wrong. But you know when you have something bad happen, or even just a crap awful day, and the last thing you want or really even need is to be left all alone. That was me last night.

I don’t really know how to wrap this up and give it all some positive uplifting ending. I don’t feel horrible about the getting locked out (I mean, sh*t happens) and I don’t feel like “woe is me” that I didn't have anyone to turn to at the time. But I do feel….something. I wish I knew how to describe it so maybe I could start to UNfeel it.

Is there anyone else out there who has felt something like this before with some words of wisdom? And don’t tell me how to NOT lock myself out of the apt. in the future, my Dad’s got that one covered.

Birthday Weekend Recap

I had such a fantastic weekend spent with great friends, family, and then an NL East championship to cap it all off. I think I may have successfully reversed my birthday curse! Or at the very least, fought it off this year.

Saturday was a great time at Nissan Pavilion (I refuse to call it by its new name) complete with a champagne tailgate, glow bracelets, a birthday sash, and hugs from two little boys passing by with their mom who wanted to stop and wish me a happy birthday. I so wish someone had gotten a photo because me being sweet and nice and accepting hugs is such a rare, rare occurrence. Actually I do accept hugs from little kids. It’s hugs from adults that usually creep me out.

Everyone loved their birthday gift bags (yes I give away gift bags at my Birthday….more incentive to show up next year people!) especially the personalized Koozies that we made good use of at the tailgate and later in the concert.

We even got a free “upgrade” from lawn seats to actual seats in the Pavilion. An employee was walking around the lawn offering tickets. L did get a little pushy asking him “Well how close are these seats exactly” before we took the perfectly great free seats. But I guess she was right, “It doesn’t hurt to ask!”

After we were seated (i.e. after one tumble from me attempting to climb over seats), 3 of us then proceeded to reeeeeeally alter the concert-going experience for those around us as we sang all the songs at the top of our lungs. Whoopsies – sorry bout that folks! After the concert, we returned back to the car to find that someone had STOLEN one of L’s hubcaps. Who does that?? At a concert in the middle of Nowheresville VA, who really thinks to steal one hubcap off a car? The only upshot is now L can get some sick spinners like she wanted and really pimp out her ride. (kidding…..)

The next day after a long sleep we headed out for some Sunday Funday. Got to see lots of great friends, one of whom I had not seen since college and we have recently caught back up through Facebook and then emailing back and forth all day long. Was SO wonderful to see her after all these years and meet her husband.

One of my friends requested a mimosa from our waiter who informed her that unfortunately you could only buy champagne by the bottle…

Friend: Ok then, how much is your cheapest bottle.

Waiter: We have one that is $16 and one that is $17

Friend: A dollar difference between the two bottles?

Waiter: Yes.

Friend: Seventeen? Like 1-7? Just one dollar? (holds up one finger)

Waiter: Yes. (shaking his head in agreement)

Friend: Alright, then we’ll take the $17 dollar one.



And THAT is what showed up. Oh yes, that is a bottle of Veuve Clicquot - not an over the top champagne but clearly that bottle was not $17 (who paid for it??? I owe you money so please email me!) It also looks much classier sitting on a covered pool table next to my swanky grilled chicken sandwich that had cheese on it after I had requested the sandwich just be plain. So obviously we had the world's best and brightest waiter that day. You can also see my own Terps personalized Koozie that I decided I wanted to bring with me to the bar next to my huge bottle of Excedrin. Classy.

The next day, my parents were in town – well technically, they were in town on Sunday afternoon, but as you can see I was pretty busy with champagne and chicken sandwiches. We had hoped to head to the zoo for the day (YES I wanted to go to the Zoo for my birthday and NO I am not eight years old - I just really like the Zoo) but the rain kind of ruined that plan. So we just headed to lunch and did a little shopping – nice, dry indoor activities.

After a nap back at the hotel for Mom and Dad (and catching up on some DVR back at my apartment for me!), we headed into DC for dinner and then to Nats Park to cheer on the Phillies. I always get a kick out of my Dad riding the metro. He always keep asking “How many more stops?? You’re gonna let me know when I need to get off the train right??” Like I would just bolt of the train without telling him and leave him to ride the rails of Metro and fend for himself, haha. The look of panic when I tell him we have to transfer lines is pretty comical too. It’s based on colors, Dad. It’s seriously not all that complicated.



My Phillies did not disappoint. We sat through all the rain and watched them beat the Nats and win their 4th straight NL East title. What a special birthday treat just for me, thanks fellas!



It was such a great birthday I kind of feel a little sad that it’s over. Thanks to everyone who came out and celebrated, made me wear a birthday sash, bought me drinks, gave me thoughtful presents, sent me cards, called, emailed, texted, left me Facebook messages, and left me comments here at www.deviledmegs.com. You have no idea how much it meant to me and you were all an integral part of reversing the birthday curse!

And finally, a very special HAPPY BIRTHDAY today to my dear friend and former sorority house roomie, AB. I am so glad we got to have our own pre-birthday celebrations together last month and I am wishing you a wonderful day filled with pony bottles of Rolling Rock, “Wild Things” and hopefully no black eyes. Cheers to you -- love you much!!

Instructions for Birthday Weekend: Champagne-Cupcake-Repeat

Hooray! That picture is the most accurate description of how I feel right now because this crazy work week is (just about) O-V-E-R and I have so much fun to look forward to this weekend because …. It’s my Birthday!

I am usually a big birthday hater. Not other people’s birthdays, those I love. It’s my own that I never like. It’s not about the getting older part of it (okay, yeah that became a teensy bit of a reason after birthday #25) but more it is just because I have awful, horrible birthday luck. So many of mine have been so unfun, forgotten, disastrous, traumatizing, or some combination of all of those. To the point where I have come to just dread the day and hold really low expectations for it.

A few examples:
• My very first sleepover birthday party was cancelled due to the weather (F*ck you Hurricane Gloria – and YES I am still holding a grudge)
• When the party was rescheduled a few weeks later, someone’s Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bag got caught in a box fan causing some legit sparks to fly out of the fan. The almost-fire and lots of smoke caused my Dad to come running downstairs in SUCH a panic that he neglected to realize he was only in his underwear. Traumatizing.
• One year was supposed to celebrate with kiddie friends for a little birthday lunch at a Friendly’s type of place. Then the restaurant caught on fire and burned down the the day before my birthday. Birthday lunch was moved to Burger King. Swanky.
• An attempt made by my parent’s to have a “surprise” birthday dinner for me at a restaurant was ruined by my protesting going out to dinner because I had too much homework. My mom angrily spilled the beans about my friends waiting to surprise me at the restaurant and told me to get my ass in the car. Surprise!!
• This was a few years after my parents had totally forgotten my birthday. See, it’s not just a humorous John Hughes’ movie plot!
• Being a year older than most of my closest friends in college, none of them could legally go out with me for my 21st birthday. I was at the mercy of older sisters in my sorority who I recall being a bit relentless with the whole idea of doing 21 shots. I threw many of those shots out the front windows of Bentley’s (a bar at my school) and will never forget the one that sent my ass running back to the ladies room with a wave of sickness. (Deviled Megs was never again to do a Lemon Drop. No lie, have NEVER done one again.)
• A few years ago I was taking me and boyfriend-at-the-time out for dinner. Yes I was taking HIM out, don't ask as it's not even worth explaining. He then came up with some complication about going to dinner so I said screw it and just cancelled the reservations. He thought it would be funny to then send me an e-card that wished me a “Happy Pancake Day” Let me tell you, that was just hilarious. Haven’t eaten a pancake since.

And while there have been a few fun birthdays (particularly the Vegas/San Diego bash), by and large you get a little taste above of why I just try to avoid my birthday all together.

But I am changing that this year. This year I have fun things to look forward to and would be just as excited for all of it if it all wasn’t tied to my birthday. L even helped me make a birthday mix CD. Because every fun event needs its very own special soundtrack, right?

Tomorrow kicks off with a trip to the Farmer’s Market, then awaiting the arrival of V so a few of us girls can head out to the Sugarland concert. There may also be a very special appearance made my Hair Stylist P…wishes really may come true, haha. There will be tailgating (with champagne) food, good music and good friends. Can’t get any better. (As a side note, how much do you just love Jennifer Nettles? One of my birthday wishes might be to be her.)


Wait, yes it can get better! Sunday (which is the actual b-day) will be spent as a low key Football Sunday Funday watching games. Some more fun friends will be joining the cast for the day with hopefully a few very special guest appearances. Then that night there is not only the premiere of “The Amazing Race” but also the Season 2 premiere of “Eastbound and Down.” It’s like special tv presents just for me.

Monday is a day off from work (I think everyone should observe a day off from work in honor of their birthday) and some time with Mom and Dad who are making a trip down to visit. The birthday train pulls up to its final stop on Monday night, into DC to see my Phillies take on the Nats. Oh and of course, my boyfriend. (Bonus points if you have realized that my birthday is the 26th...and his number is 26)

So for once, I am going to go against type and get excited about this birthday. Excited about this weekend and seeing friends, having fun, and putting all my worries and stresses on hold for a few days. And looking forward to a year that is full of potential and possibilities. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend too, whatever your plans may hold for you.

Weekend trip to the Jersey Shore (no not THAT one, a much classier one)

I took a drive up to the Jersey Shore this weekend. My Pop-Pop lives there and while where he lives is really quaint and nice and worlds away from the trainwreck that is the MTV show (it's ok...I watch it too), I will tell you that I went to the location they shoot the show at almost every single week in the summers when I was younger to see fireworks. I used to be scared sh*tless of fireworks, but I think that weekly "facing my fears" therapy I endured must have paid off because fireworks might be one of my top 5 favorite things. Like ever.

Ok, let's get this posting back on track....so up to the shore to see Pop-Pop. He went into the hospital last week and I was worried about him, so having no plans I couldn't get out of this past weekend, trekked up to see him. A big BOO to work for not letting me leave early like I had gotten approval to do (really, it was my temp assistant's fault....I cannot wait until her last day here) but a big HOORAY that there was only very light traffic in spots, and I finally found one friend home on a Friday night to take my call and keep me company on the drive. Thanks, J!

Pop-Pop came home from the hospital on Friday -- apparently just really dehydrated and in need of some rest. Sometimes I worry that he was always so good at taking care of my Gram but never remembered to take care of himself. And now that she's gone he still sometimes forgets to make sure to take care of himself. But he just raved about the wreath that I made him. I felt like I was a 4-year old with a finger painting up on the fridge for all to admire. Except I had taken down the faux-foliage fall thing that was already up on the front door (sorry bout that Mom!) and hung up my wreath and admired my work. I think mostly I just wanted to have a little piece of me there with Pop-Pop every day.

I had also brought my crafty-crafting supplies up with me thinking I might get some time to work on some other projects. I stayed up late on Saturday night making a really pretty wreath for my Godmother. She is a breast-cancer survivor and I had gotten some pink ribbon-printed fabrics to make a wreath for her to hang next month for Breast Cancer Awareness month.

That following morning, while I was still asleep, my mom got an email from her cousin with not-good news about my Godmother. She is back in the hospital after becoming very sick as a reaction to radiation she began last week; her cancer has returned and she has tumors in her brain and her spine.

So I am hoping my wreath makes its way to her or to her house waiting for her to be able to go home. So a little piece of me can be there with her letting her know she is in my thoughts and prayers. And sending some pretty pink fireworks her way too becuase, well you know how I feel about fireworks :)

And I hope you won't think me selfish to ask for those of you that come here and read my postings, if you might keep her in your thoughts and prayers. Every little bit helps, I think.

Ok, sorry for that bit of a somber Monday posting. Just weighing on my mind right now. I'll try and think of something especially hilarious for tomorrow's Tales from the Trenches. Good thing that well never seems to run dry of tragically comical stories :)

Gone in the blink of an eye

Back to the grind tomorrow; this weekend felt as if it went far too quickly. I hate these Sunday nights where I feel like I will probably up till far too late, unable to get myself to sleep and ready for the week ahead. Lots of thoughts running around in my head probably won't help the situation much either. This will be the first work week of five full days in a row in a month -- just the thought makes me feel queasy. How do you do it -- how do you psyche yourself up for a week at a job you aren't loving when you are in a total and complete funk in all facets of life?