Friday, December 3, 2010

Too soon for a toothbrush?

Frankly, it may also be too soon for me to post about things like this...but I figure you all have suffered through at least two weeks of no Tales From The Trenches Tuesday, so I should really throw you some sort of a bone. And I think I'd like some feedback, and many of you are REALLY good at feedback :)

Rewind to the last guy I actually dated -- this was back in late Winter and into Spring. And I don't think I really mentioned him at all on here, just when things actually ended. Sorry, I lied. I DID write about some of my worries while we were dating. And there is no way I could ever write about ALL of my worries because I just have too damn many of them. I am a worrier (it's genetic I think...thanks Coach!) and Hakuna Matata is a catchy song but not something I can actually live out in my day-to-day.

So one of the things that caught me a little off guard back then was when I was offered a toothbrush. I don't know how much actual time had passed but I had slept over at his place a number of times. And suddenly I was being offered a toothbrush. Before even beginning to question if it was time to be talking about toothbrushes, I remember wondering to myself "So does he just have a stock of toothbrushes that he hands out to sleeper-overers?"

And no, he was not a dentist, so I could not come up with any plausible reason for him to have a stock of spanking-new toothbrushes on hand. I mean...I didn't peek under his sink (kudos to me, right??) but I imagined there would have been something like this staring back at me.

I don't remember that I ever verbally accepted or declined that toothbrush. But it stayed there in the holder in his bathroom...and I used it when I slept over at his place. I felt weird about it every time though. Even after we had "the talk", I still felt uneasy about that whole toothbrush situation. Just kept making me anxious at how frequently toothbrushes may get cycled through there.

So how soon is too soon to have a talk about toothbrushes? Is keeping toothbrushes casually stashed around town totally acceptable these days? I mean, I have one I keep here at work but I don't think that's exactly on par with what I am getting at here. Or should people now be travelling with their own toothbrushes at all times, just in case? I mean, I keep a lot of things in my purse -- pair of flats for when my heels start to hurt, at least 3 chapsticks, 4 shades of lipgloss, even a peanut butter sandwich sometimes -- but maybe I should throw a toothbrush in there now.

And why am I all of the sudden pondering over toothbrushes? Well the boy that I have been going on dates with (clearly if he sticks around I need to come up with some sort of name for him) stayed over the other night and in leaving the next day, neglected to pack his toothbrush. So I noticed it there last night sitting on my sink and sent him a text to let him know he left it behind. Which was probably pointless of me because I hope in the day that had passed since he had been at my apartment, he would have been planning to brush his teeth and made that discovery that he didn't have his toothbrush with him all on his own.

I had a text from him this morning saying "Maybe I can just keep it there for sleepovers?" can't say I saw something like that coming. And THAT, dear bloggy friends, is what has me all sorts of hung up on toothbrushes today.

Again, this is very out of character for me to be sharing so much, but hey, let's try something new and different, shall we? Is it too soon for a toothbrush? How many other toothbrushes might he have stashed around the greater DC area? Am I just so cracked out from the stress of coming back to a mess of work at the office that I am just being cracked out about this too?



  1. I am a little perplexed about sleepovers at this point in my personal life. The thought of toothbrushes sends my head spinning. I think that you have to be honest about regular sleepovers and toothbrushes and ask him if he keeps a a toothbrush anywhere else...kind of like, "Are you seeing anyone else?" Then that would let you know about his dental hygiene elsewhere. I personally would not be OK with someone seeing more toothbrushes than the one at his place and mine.

    Now that I'm thinking about this, I am having some anxiety about sleepovers with my suitor....hmmmmm....

  2. Ok... Is this the first time said boy has slept over? If so - then a left behind toothbrush is a little premature, but if it's a few sleep overs in then I think it's totally fine. If it isn't his first sleep over then I would definitly take his leaving a toothbrush as a good sign and that he's not got multiple toothbrushes out there.

    Despite everything - at least clean teeth is important to him... which is always a plus! :)

  3. Isn't it funny how a toothbrush can bring so much anxiety/excitement/discussion?

  4. okay... here's my two cents on the toothbrush ordeal!
    so growing up my mother kept about 23904820398423 toothbrushes in the house, always. they're cheaper when you buy in bulk, plus you never know who is going to be staying over. or when the dog will get your toothbrush. or when the baby will dunk it in the toilet. better safe then sorry, you know?
    this is how i was when i went away to college. i always had about 4 toothbrushes on hand, just in case. and they always came in handy, whether i was having a sleepover or whether i thought my roommate was dunking it in the toilet, so i needed one decoy and one actual toothbrush.
    so maybe he's like me and just has a bunch of toothbrushes. the thing is, i don't think anyone can say just how soon is too soon for the toothbrush talk. and i think ana is right - if yours is the only toothbrush in his bathroom right now, then i think you're set. but if he is rotating toothbrushes and leaving his toothbrush all over the place, then you've got a problem.
    hope this helps! can't wait to hear more!

  5. I figure if he has slept over a few times and left the toothbrush on purpose it's really not a big deal, and a sign that he likes you a lot and foresees many more sleepovers requiring a toothbrush. If it was his first sleepover, he probably left it bymistake, but still hopes to be invited back in the future, which if you're into him, is a good thing.

  6. Aha! Now your e-mail from yesterday makes a wee bit more sense :) I was planning to catch up with my besties today, and now I'm all caught up.

    I'm going to e-mail you about this. Because I've got a few things to say....