Thursday, July 25, 2013

OMGYG (aka Omigod You Guys)

Not sure how familiar any of you are with the musical Legally Blond (or for the true nerds like me, MTV's Legally Blond the Musical: The Search for Elle Woods), but there is a song in the first act that I think of often -- "Omigod You Guys"

Really, it's just that earworm, catchy, jubilant refrain of Omigod!Omigod you guys! I feel like that *perfectly* captures the same hyped up level of enthusiasm I feel when I find something new that I love and I want to tell everyone about it.  

So.....I thought........why not make this a regular recurring post?  OMGYG can give me that much needed outlet to tell people (you know, all six of you reading this little blog) about something I found that I love.  TV probably tons of things from QVC. 

Sound good?  Let's give it a try.

Why has no one told me how incredible these are?  I picked some up on sale at Harris Teeter a few weeks ago and didn't think much about it.  Until MVP sent me an email saying whatever new bars I had gotten were basically the best thing ever. 

He was speaking specifically about the Almond and Coconut KIND bar. 

                                                        Almond & Coconut

And seriously?  WHOAH, so good.  And not bad for you at all.  KIND bars are that magical combination of healthy AND tasty.  I have been stashing them at work to have on hand when I am working late and need a snack or forget to bring breakfast.  These are also great to keep in the car or in your purse for a snack on the go.  And I think kids would love these -- they really are so delicious it's hard to believe they are actually healthy. 

                                                                   Dark Chocolate Nuts & Sea Salt

I am also pretty much in love with the Dark Chocolate, Nuts & Sea Salt flavor.  Seriously, the salty and sweet is amazing and there is only 5g of sugar!

I am also anxiously awaiting the debut of their new GRANOLA BARS.  And yes, I pre-ordered mine from QVC, no surprise there.  The new granola bars are exclusive to QVC until later in the fall.  You can pick up a box 25 bars: five each of Oats & Honey with Toasted Coconut, Peanut Butter Dark Chocolate, Dark Chocolate Chunk, Vanilla Blueberry, and Maple Pumpkin Seeds with Sea Salt.  And if they are half as good as the bars we have been loving, I am sure I will need to keep that shipment on auto-delivery! 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013


I'm Loving...all my horrible, mindless reality tv shows.  Because really....when I am going through a ton of nonsense and no-good crap at work, there is nothing I like as much as forgetting all my troubles and peeking into the pseudo-"real"- lives of people who are pretty much total nutbags.

So, in honor of my love of Reality TV, I will update you on my life using some Reality TV GIFs

I was scheduled to be out of the office the week of Aug 5 for a little vacation.....

You know, until things started catching fire, blowing up and otherwise falling apart in general and I had to come to the tough realization that I literally could not afford to be out of the office the whole week.  MVP was not happy about it (since it was a vacation with his family) and also because I literally NEED a break from my work for the sake of my sanity.

Remembering an old US Air credit MVP had from getting bumped on a flight last year, we were able to salvage some of the vacation.  I can work Mon-Tues and then fly down to meet him on Tuesday night.  Two days in the office is a good compromise, right? And then I still get four solid days of vacation before flying back on Sunday.  WIN!

Flying also means.....I avoid the long, long car drive!!!


Work is still.....the same.  Awful, but I have learned to just deal with the awfulness.  Every time I look at my inbox, I want to either cry or just throw my computer/iPhone off a bridge.


Just this morning, I had to mute myself on a conference call so I could yell AT the phone.


But I am just going to "keep on keeping on" and hoping there is a new and better opportunity on the horizon.  Working my network and putting myself out there and all of that.  Hopefully things happen sooner rather than later.  Until then.....

The good news is, there are tons of people out of the office on vacations, so at least I can work with my door closed and some music to make the time go by a little more painlessly.

But still, most days leave me feeling a bit....Ramotional

I have also just been feeling so BLAH about myself.


Even though I have been really good about getting up early to get my Physique 57 on and trying to eat fairly well.  


I think I just need to give myself a break sometimes, and not be so hard on myself

Because really?

Friday, July 19, 2013

Just a quick update...

After my last post about my current state -- and how most of it stems from my work situation. 

One, I needed to just vent it out, go home and vent some more, and then just go to sleep.  Tried as best I could to put it all behind me on Thursday and just keep plugging away.  I also decided to take a quick meeting with the Director of Talent Management in HR.  I guess I should not have been surprised, but I found out I was supposed to have been interviewed for the job I applied for....not pulled into a ten minute meeting and told why he wasn't going to pick me.  The HR Director seemed truly stunned that this had all been not just mismanaged, but the process had been corrupted in that I had not even had the opportunity to talk about the job about what made ME a uniquely qualified candidate.  My boss did send me an email Wednesday night telling me to "Keep doing what you're doing. Cream always rises to the top."  Just confirms a bit of my feelings that there is no way for me to succeed where I currently am, and to a larger extent, at this company.

That said...this is NOT NEWS to me.  I had needed to stick it out through mid Q2 of this year to be able to get my 2012 bonus.  Trust me friends, I am on the lookout for other opportunities very aggressively.  I am just not having a whole lot of luck and sadly am not passing the phone screen stage of most of the things I am pursuing.  I know this is not a revelation to many -- and some of you know this far better than I do -- but it is still a really tough market out there.  People are out of work for a really long time before finding something.  And when they are, sometimes it is one or two steps back but they take it because it gets them back to work.  Even my colleague who left my department a few weeks back took a pretty sizable pay cut to leave this job for that one.  And she has two teenage daughters at home.  Yes, I guess that solidifies just how ICK it is at my current job but also what is available out there...and she has MUCH more experience than me.

Anyway, it was just my long winded way of saying, I had a bad day but believe me, I have not resigned myself to my current lot.  I am (and have been for quite some time) actively looking to move out of this position and likely that also means leaving the company.  It's just not been all that promising out there in the job market right now, but I am keeping it up because the alternative is trying to make things work here and I know now more than ever that THAT is not an option for me. 

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

I wish it was What I'm Loving Wednesday

I mean, technically it IS WILW.  And there are most definitely feeling like I love many things.  But I feel like they are all overshadowed at the moment.  I am just feeling incredibly overwhelmed.

I am overwhelmed by my feelings of not being enough.

I know I have lamented here quite often about my troubles at work.  At how I am somehow not enough, mostly because I am a woman.  While my male colleague was promoted shortly after that incident to the same role/title as me, he has no additional responsibilities or work as a result.  Just a higher title and, I presume, a better salary.

Meanwhile I run circles around him at work and nothing happens.

I applied for an opening -- more senior -- within my department.  I had several colleagues in various departments ask me if I was considering applying because it seemed like such a great fit for me.  So I thought, you know what, I should.  I was granted an "interview" that I was told would "take no more than 30 min."  Don't need to be a genius to know that this "interview of no more than 30 minutes"  is not going to be an actual interview.  That meeting took place this morning where I was told it was "admirable" that I applied, but the role was being given to someone else within the company.  That I "shouldn't be discouraged" because "opportunities eventually come up somewhere for people like you (me)", and - my personal favorite - "I felt I owed it to you for you to hear the news from me."

Um....was that supposed to be inspiring?  Motivating?  Comforting? Not sure.

He also made it sound like a timing issue, citing that this internal candidate had applied last week. had I.

And that this candidate had great relationships with X, Y, and Z. do I.

I literally have so many thoughts and feelings coursing through me right now.
Anger.  Disappointment. Confusion. Sadness. Apathy. Hopelessness.

But I just keep on return over and over again to this feeling of not being enough.

It's not just at my job -- where in actuality the work that I do is MORE THAN ENOUGH -- but in my volunteer work, in my personal relationships.

I feel less than.  Worse than that, I feel unworthy.

I feel like "someone like me" doesn't get to have the good job.  Good being defined by sane workplace with mostly supportive colleagues and opportunity for advancement.

"Someone like me" doesn't get to have the husband and kids and all of that.

"Someone like me" isn't the sort that is held in high regard by friends and colleagues. I'm not anything special.  Not anything memorable.

This meeting today was the straw that broke the camel's back in terms of my thoughts about myself right now.  I wish I could just go home, crawl under my blanket for a few days, be alone, and then come back to work on Monday.  I just need time.  Away from my sh*tty worklife.  Away from other people.

 I just want so much to be alone with my thought because I feel like I need to actually FEEL these FEELINGS.  I worry I have been brushing them off for so long and that may be what has led me to where I am now.

I don't know if that makes any sense.  I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way because it's honestly not something many people are openly talking about.  Well, at least not anyone I know.

Ok so maybe Ron Burgundy gets me....