Monday, April 2, 2012
Lost and (hopefully) Found (soon!)
So I have a little confession. I have felt a bit lost lately. At times, I have felt like I am in a bit of a funk, at other times just felt blah. Blah about work, blah about plans, blah about me. I feel like I have misplaced my pep, my zip, my je ne sais quoi.
I can't really pinpoint where or when I may have misplaced it. I just know that right now it -- and a good bit of me -- feels lost.
What's making me feel worse about my current state is feeling like it is affecting MVP. I've assured him that it has nothing to do with him -- when we do have troubles or I am upset he makes me talk about it with him. I think it's something called communicating...a very new thing for me :) Still, I can't help but feel like it makes him a bit sad too. It broke my heart for him to tell me the other day that he is the happiest he's ever been right now and he wishes he could do something so I felt the same.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I am in a total state of miserable grouchiness and my life is devoid of joy. I am so very happy with him and our decision to live together. I light up when I get emails or phone calls from friends. I love virtually "catching up" with other people on Facebook. My issue of Us Weekly in the mailbox on a Friday afternoon makes me swoon. Sitting quietly on a Saturday morning enjoying a cup of tea makes me feel calm. Warmer weather and being able to wear flip flops make me giddy.
But right now...lately...I have just felt OFF. And really I just want to feel ON again. And soon.