Thursday, September 23, 2010

Let's just BE old. We don't even have to grow.

For some reason lately, I feel like quite a few people have been having conversations with me, or at me, or just near me about their finding someone to grow old with. People who have found their people, others who think that *maybe* they may have found their people, some others that are still looking for their people, and a few who might be getting a little ticked because they feel like their people are LATE in showing up!

And then there’s me. Someone who more or less has never pictured myself growing old with anybody. I wasn’t a girl who thought incessantly about my wedding one day or obsessed about starting a family. I didn’t even place a high amount of importance on dating and relationships (and I know there are going to be critics of that game plan – hell even I have questioned it myself from time to time.) I have some different thoughts and perspectives from a lot of other girls when it comes to all that stuff and I know not everyone can understand them, but I think I am fortunate enough to have a couple people in my life who “get” that part of me more so than others. You know, so I can rest easy knowing I am not a total weirdo.

I also feel like I have always just been older or more mature. It wasn't some destination to grow towards or get to -- I was already there! And seriously, I don’t mean that in some snotty way or something. For those that know me IRL, now is NOT the time to start posting comments reminding me of all the dumb/stupid/childish shenanigans I may have gotten myself into over the years. Why don’t you go ahead and save them for the next time we all get together, mkay? What I mean is that ever since I was really little, I have always acted older, projected myself to be older, felt a little older. Maybe because I was too much of a thinker and worrier as a child (and to some extent, still am.) And maybe at times I have had to deal with too much on my own at points in my life already. I can’t really say. But to me, truth was spoken when someone said “I never thought I’d feel so tired at 22.” (now who will be the first to ring in with the correct info on that quote?!?)

Maybe I do want someone to grow old with. Or maybe I will eventually. But right now I would really like someone to just BE old with. That’s what I have been thinking about lately. Screw this “growing old together” talk. The future is going to happen and growing old is going to be a part of that, no matter what/who/when. But I can’t get too involved in thinking about the future that I stop being present in my present. Because “Life moves pretty fast, If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” (C’mon folks…that’s an easy one…)

So for right now, I would be super happy and feel very fortunate to find someone to just relax, spend some time together, enjoy each other's company and just be old with right now. What sorts of things does being old entail? Well for me, I have been thinking about:
• Cooking a fantastic meal on some random weekday and maybe opening a really nice bottle of wine.
• Getting excited when you remember you have some DVR shows to catch up on and are stoked to stay in on a Friday night and watch them.
• A drive up to Gettysburg to enjoy a day trip in the car with some fall foliage.
• Swapping funny youtube clips to get through a workday.
• Sleeping in on a Sunday morning in a bed with a great down comforter and high thread count sheets.
• Going to see something at the Kennedy center and maybe getting a little dressed up. Not because you have to but because you want to.
• Going out on a limb and trying an ICED Pumpkin latte at SBux.
• Caring about the food you are going to bring to the tailgate.

What are things that are NOT old? Like things I think I have no interest in doing. Like, ever again.
• Meticulously planning meals or the ability to even talk to someone around a particular team’s schedule (Seriously I am a big fan of a few teams myself, but some people take it to unhealthy extremes. And I have been just so lucky as to date some of those people.)
• Getting excited when you remember you have a co-worker's going away Happy Hour, followed by post HH drinks with the people you *really* like from work, then off to drinks with a different group of friends, then meeting up with other people at some party, then out to try a new bar nearby that just opened up, then to some bar that someone heard is “open really late” followed by a Jumbo Slice for dinner on a Friday night. I think I got tired and queasy just typing that.
• A drive up to anywhere that may involve stopping at a fraternity house.
• Swapping absurd postings from Texts from Last Night because they sound eerily like your own lives.
• Passing out early Sunday morning on a bed with no fitted sheet, a threadbare flat sheet and a comforter that is in desperate need of a wash.
• Just going to see something at the Movies. Not because you want to but because you just don’t have anything to talk about with the other person.
• Going out on a limb and trying a Bear Fight.
• Stressing about running out of liquor and then having to drink beer at the tailgate.

I think it also goes without saying that I feel very much past the point in my life where I am okay with people who get naked and eat hotpockets in my kitchen, need to pass a breathalyzer to start their car, or who are actually married already.

What about you? What's an "old" activity that you enjoy doing with your person or look forward to doing with a potential person?


  1. I totally get that. And many people try to make me feel bad for not being with someone.

  2. My boyfriend Jay and I always laugh and say we're getting old- we get sleepy easily, and our date nights usually include dinner and a movie, hiking/biking, or spending hours in Books-a-Million. We drink alcoholic drinks, but not to get drunk. I sometimes feel older than my age of 22, but we're happy and truly enjoy the "old people" things that we spend time doing!

  3. Seriously, are you reading my mind?!?!

  4. 100% - all of my favorite "old" activities! And I would like to add that I can't remember the last time I "closed a bar" and I'm usually excited to be home before midnight after a few drinks and good times with friends! And in closing, I will be sending you a few amusing youtube clips that have been forwarded amongst friends lately! Stop me if you've already seen "Old Greg". :)

  5. I'm right there with you girl!

  6. We have way too many "old" activities to list... of course cooking nice dinners and entertaining at home top the list. This winter, during all of the snowstorms we did a lot of bird, squirrel and icecicle watching. That really made me feel old. I even have photos to document them.

  7. St. Elmo's Fire and Ferris Bueller. Duh.