Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Tales from the Trenches Tuesday

I was giving today's posting some thought after yesterday’s semi-somber posting... then something happened as I was leaving work yesterday that let me know exactly what tale I should tell you all today.

As you may know from some of those commercials that seem to be everywhere, online dating is pretty mainstream these days. I have done my fair share of it, as has just about any single person you know, whether they admit to it or not. I have met (a few) great guys, (a bunch of) fun guys that turned into friends of mine, and (a lot of) crazies, creeps, *ssholes and weirdos. One site touts some data point that today 1 in 5 relationships start online. I believe it, I have met that 1 a couple times. But more often I have found myself seated across the table from one of the other 4.

Even with online dating being much more out in the open these days, I am still a HUGE proponent of withholding some of your personal information from the get-go, until you see if this is person you may want to get to know better and not just one that is going to end up in the crazy/creep/*sshole/weirdo bucket. So I actually have a separate email account that I use for that purpose. It’s good because then they can’t google search you or find you on facebook (trust me, it happens and it’s creepy) but they also don’t have your full name. I once had somoene give me a bit of a hard time about that when I eventually gave him my “real” email address after things had progressed for a bit. But seriously, TRUST me on this one. ALWAYS start out with an email address that is something other than your actual name or the email address you use for regular correspondance, facebook, twitter, etc.

I had gotten an email from MC who didn’t have a photo posted on his profile. While this should usually be a little red flag, if the email is a good enough one (i.e. something funny that makes me laugh), I will often respond. In DC, it is not uncommon for people not to post a profile pic because of a job (CIA, FBI…you get the drift.) So we eventually began corresponding through direct email, albeit my “other” email account. When MC would find me online at the same time as him, he sent me chat messages. The little red flags became a little bigger when he was really vague about some topics – what area of DC he worked in or what he did for a living. But again, I tried to just overlook them a bit - could be another DC job-related reason for that.

Then MC finally sent me a chat message that had some more detailed information. He was at a conference in Vegas. Standard enough, who hasn’t been to a conference in Vegas? But it was going on at the exact same time as another conference I knew that was talking place in Vegas. One my assistant happened to have helped plan a very pricey and lavish reception at for a group of attorneys I work with. After asking a few clever fact-gathering questions (Nancy Drew ain’t got nothing on me!) I realized that this person who had found me online was one of my attorneys.

Whose office is on the same floor as me.

And who is MARRIED.

Oh yes, you read that right. Dude is married. I immediately blocked him from chat and email and had a strong urge to take a shower with all of my clothes on, that’s how gross and skeezed out I felt after this horrible realization. So while I don’t think online dating is the worst thing going out there, I do think that ladies should be careful because there are some Married Creepers out there on those sites.

Oh and yesterday? I was running for the elevator trying to get out of work at a decent time. I was bent over trying to dig my Metro card out of my bag before the elevator arrived when I heard someone else walk up to the elevators. And when I looked up, there was MC totally looking down my shirt as I was leaned over rifling through my bag. And again I had that overwhelming urge to take a shower with all my clothes on.

Most. Awkward. Elevator. Ride. Ever.


  1. AHHHH!!!! That is such a creepy yet GREAT Story! So unacceptable this man is! I wonder how many internet girlfriends he has?

  2. That is just disgusting! I wonder how many dates he's been on with unsuspecting women? But I agree with jdracecar- it is a great story. xo xo

  3. No. Way! OMG OMG OMG! I cannot even imagine. I've tried eH lots but finally stopped. I found it to be more annoying than anything else. But wait...he saw your photo...right? So he knew y'all worked in the same office? That is just the worst thing ever! I feel terrible for his wife!!

  4. OMG, where was I the other day that some guy was going on&on about that Ashley Madison site as though it were some brand-new phenomenon...but he sounded almost gleeful about it, like he'd tried it out. & although I'm too sleep-deprived to remember the context exactly, I could swear that this person was going on about it *in front* of his clueless wife...I'm sure it was at a party we were at last weekend, & maybe I've blocked the memory because it was somebody I knew...

    Anyway, your post just reminded me of this. How nuts to think that these same trolls are on the regular ol' normal dating sites & not just the, "Hey, let's have an affair!" sites. How awful. So sleazy!

    (But I LOVE that you figured it out! ;))

  5. That is the worst creepy coincidence ever!!!!
    I have had a few married guys contact me on match. Never a picture and always looking to "have discrete fun" haha!

  6. OH this is one of your classics.....so glad you shared it for the world! Hahah Such a ridiculous story and I can't believe you ran in to him again yesterday! EEK!

  7. OH. MY. GOD.

    That is absolutely terrible!! You poor thing. I have found myself in some situations before, with men...but that takes the cake! And that you have to see him at work. Sheesh.

    His poor wife :( I wonder if she has any idea?

  8. Apparantly he and his wife have only been married a few years too...so sad and scary that there are people like this out there. But not surprised that I am the one to find these sorts of creeps!