Monday, May 9, 2011

For what it's worth

I vacillate on whether or not I buy into karma, "The Secret" and all of that. But at this point...well I am thinking it may not hurt. So I will just put it out there in case the universe may, in fact, be listening. You know, for whatever it may be worth.

Dear Universe,

Uncle. You win. I really am not up for this anymore.

I am a good person who strives to treat people well and do my best. While I don't think that should inherently mean everything should go my way, I'd like to catch a break every now and again. Some things in my life are just flat out not okay. And I have tried (really, truly and wholeheartedly) to make things better, but I can only do so much on my own.

I really need something good to come my way. Soon(ish) if at all possible. And not like finding $10 in my jeans pocket or something like that. Something seriously, undeniably, life-changing kinda good.

I don't know if I have ever really said it out loud. Maybe because I don't know if I have felt it. But I am changing that by stating it here now.

I am a good person. I deserve good things. I work hard. I deserve to be happy.

And even when things continue to not really go my way, I have still worked just as hard and continued to be a good and kind person. Not because I thought it would win me any brownie points in life, but just because I believed that it was the right thing to do.

But maybe now....I need something back. Because I keep picking myself up and trying hard and the only thing I have been able to count on is the fact that something will come along to kick me in the teeth and knock me back down all over again.

I need something to get up for again.

And if you can manage to do that and still have a little extra left over, I'd take the unexpected $10 in my jeans pocket too. Just sayin'.

4 comments:

  1. My father always said...the squeaky wheel gets the oil! Good for you for just coming out and asking for it :) Can't wait to see what lovely is in store for you!

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  2. I feel exactly this way. I couldn't have said it more precisely. Here's to blessings for both of us. :)

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  3. aaah it sucks when it feels like life keeps kicking you when you're down. fingers crossed for you that things improve. i'd totally take that $10 too!

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  4. Keep on going. It will come. Shit...I know it can take awhile. And it sucks!

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