Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Tales from the Trenches Tuesday -- coming clean

Haven’t posted one of these in awhile, I know. So hopefully this one makes up for me pretty much hanging up Tales from the Trenches back in at the end of 2010. Things were kind of gloomy at the time, and I just needed time to reset myself. It’s usually just a period of time where I go through a phase of keeping to myself and preferring to spend nights by myself, wearing matching pajama sets and watching horrible reality TV shows and whatever junk I can get through Netflix.

After I have hermited for awhile, then I like to do a total 180 and try and go out and be social as much as humanly possible. I kind of kick myself out of the nest a bit. This whole period of time is also usually marked by an increase in online shopping. Retail therapy may not heal all, but for me it sure helps me feel better.

So after all of that, I decided to go and try a little bit of dating again. Was I ready? Probably not. But if I waited until I felt truly ready for anything, I figure my whole life might pass me by before I ever got around to doing anything. I went back to my old friend/foe match.com because as much as it may stink sometimes, for people like me who are busy with work and not into going out every night of the week to try and meet people in bars…well, it really is the best solution for trying to meet new people.

I started emailing with MVP. And I wasn’t very good at emailing. This was also a really tough period of time at the firm where I was working like a crazy person and dealing with too much stress. At times, I forced myself out on match meetings but none of them really left me with a great feeling. So it was hard to muster up the energy and emotion to go out even more after having draining days at the firm.

After a couple months, I’m pretty sure MVP had pretty much given up on me (hell, I would have) when I decided to email him again after I was finally finished with my huge client event on the west coast. His office was a few blocks from mine so we finally set up a meeting for a Friday right after work. Early enough that if it wasn’t all that great I could still salvage the evening. I was running late to that meeting and trying to walk fast enough to get to the meeting spot quickly while not getting myself sweaty and mussed up in the process. I walked by a wedding rehearsal taking place in a hotel courtyard. While waiting to cross the street I texted a friend to see if maybe that might be a good sign. Her text back to me? Weddings suck.

So really at this point, I have the bar set low. Like so low, it's basically just on the ground. I’m late, semi-mussed up from almost running to get to the place, and my friend has text-sucked any faint romantic hopes I may have had right out of me.

But surprisingly? I had a really nice time. MVP was easy to talk to and I feel like before I knew it, 3 or 4 hours had gone by. And while I knew I had had a really nice time…I had absolutely zero read on MVP. So I hoped he might ask me out again, but was also prepared for him to just drop off the face of the earth. Again, I was setting the bar really low. Experience sort of showed me that’s the best way to handle these things.

After we each respectively battled miserable colds, we did go out. And basically roasted in the heat at the Phillies game on Memorial Day. I was still getting over the last traces of illness and trying not to burst into flames in the scorching sun. Not really ideal conditions for being charming and putting your best foot forward, you know? I think at one point I actually used a stack of napkins to wipe the sweat off of my chest. Classy, yes? Despite the heat, I had another great time with MVP…but I still could not get a read on him. There wasn’t really any flirting. I think the closest we came to any sort of physical contact might have been when he watched my tote bag while I used the ladies room.

So now I was kind of annoyed. Was he just not interested? Was he one of those people using match.com to just meet a bunch of new friends?

A week later I was at the NKOTBSB concert with my fabulous hair stylist and 2 of his fabulous friends. I had been texting back and forth with MVP earlier that afternoon and he invited me to meet him out after the concert. Maybe it was the strong drinks the bartender was pouring us at the concert. Maybe it was the fact that after the concert I was feeling like the odd man out as one of the only girls at a gay sports bar. Whatever the reason, I decided to give it one last shot and hopped on the Metro to go meet him.

And given enough time, I can talk myself out of anything. So the time spent standing there waiting on the metro platform…and then the train ride to where he was…I had basically made up my mind to just go home. I was tired. I was a little drunk. And I didn’t even know if MVP liked me. And that made me feel pretty dumb for just dropping what I was doing to Metro on over to him.

So as I walked up to the bar he was at and saw the line of people waiting to get in, I took it as a sign that I should go home. And I sent him a text telling him just that. As I turned to look for a cab to get into, I saw MVP coming out to meet me. And while I thought he looked pretty handsome in his suit from work (I blame the vodka sodas for trying to talk me out of my own decision!), I quickly reminded myself that I was finding a cab and heading home.

He walked with me for a bit and listened as I explained that I had such a long day, was tired, and needed to go home. And then he stopped me and kissed me. In the middle of a crowded sidewalk in DC on a busy Friday night. And people walked by and probably didn’t even notice us. But I finally got my answer – MVP did, in fact, like me.

So for the last few months when I haven’t been at work or out of town…I’ve pretty much been with MVP. He is a really good guy and I feel really lucky that I met him. He holds doors open for strangers. He makes friendly small talk with waiters and cashiers. He changes his flights to surprise me by coming home a day early. He watches Real Housewives of New Jersey with me. He likes wandering around Costco for 2 and a half hours almost as much as I do. He goes to 7-11 in the middle of the night to get me ginger ale when I wake up sick.

We are open and honest with one another and talk things through. He isn’t like anyone before and I mean that in the very best way possible. We are figuring each other out as we go. We are realistic enough to know we are going to have little bumps along the way and that neither of us is perfect. But for me? He’s My Version of Perfect right now and I don’t think I could be happier.

So there it is…my very long winded way of coming clean. Now I don’t know if I am going to be writing about all this or not. But just not writing about it at all sort of felt inauthentic. I feel better getting that all off my chest. And a special thanks to the three of you that may have read this posting all the way through :)


  1. Love it. We both deserve the happiness we are currently feeling. And hopefully I will be in MD a lot more and we will have to setup a double date!!!!!

  2. This is exciting! I'm really happy for you (and glad you came clean!!)

  3. That's great news! So happy for you! :o)

  4. Five! There's five of us! ;) But in truth, I had to scan back because I've been so far behind in readings lately, my jaw dropped when I read your parents were meeting MVP and didn't know who this gent was and how long he'd been courting you. So, then I started reading obsessively. So, there's that.