Wednesday, September 7, 2011

What I'm NOT Loving Wednesday and the Ten Day Challenge

Normally I enjoy taking a break on Wednesday and finding time to "find the happy" and post a What I'm Loving Wednesday. I don't know if it's the dreary weather going on here in DC, my current work situation, or the overflowing cup o' stress I have going on at the moment, but I just can't seem to muster it today. Hoping that posting at least SOMEthing will help me today, so I'm going to keep on keeping on with the Ten Day Challenge

Eight Fears Oh hell, this probably isn't going to help me is it....sonnovabitch.

•1• Not being good at what I do for work (and in my current case, just keeping my job in general)

•2• Not finding something that I can be passionate about in my job (this one, or any other one really)

•3• Just f*cking up in general...making the wrong choices, not living up to potential/expectations, letting people down, not meeting obligations.

•4• Not being able to be a mom someday.

•5• Knives. I have no idea why, but they make me tense.

•6• Getting older. IN ALL senses of the act. I will be completely honest that I worry about aging for vain reasons of how it changes the way I look and how I feel. I sometimes get fearful that I am am not as far along in my life as I could/should be at my age and that I still have a lot I hope to accomplish that I might not get to do. Basically, I'd like to get a big old Mulligan on the last 7 or so years and backtrack and do somethings differently.

•7• Not mattering. Like if I am not someone's wife or someone's mother, does that mean I don't/won't matter to anyone or that I am not really making any mark?

•8• Natural disasters. I mean, those things are scary.


  1. I love the 10 day challenge - such good blog material (which I am clearly lacking lately!).

  2. This 10-day challenge stresses me. I'm scare of IT. I'm too challenged as it is, so I'm not playing...but let me just tell you that if I have a baby one day I'll give it to you. Then you can be a mom. I'm not really sure I'm cut out for that. Unnless I was very wealthy. Because I don't want to spend my frock fund on anyone else :(

    Wow. I'm a little spoiled, no?

  3. Oh TRUST me, if I were to be a mom, then I stress and am fearful of being able to provide for that child. I really don't know how people do it. I need to win the lottery. I should have noted that I am fearful of NOT winning the lottery since I need to do so to make many of my dreams a reality :)

  4. oh god, I 100% identify with every one of the items on your list. I'm not even sure I want to be a mom someday but I want the opportunity, meaning the husband, and I don't have that yet that is a huge fear.

  5. chin up, buttercup. These fears are not irrational nor do they make you shallow or insecure. We ALL have them and they are very real and worth talking about. Lean on those around you for support when you need and try to breathe once in a while. If you focus so much on what you don't have or feel like you should have, you tend to neglect the things you DO have. Life can change in a second and it's important to be present NOW, in each moment.

    Fuck, who's that up there? Did I say that? Feel free to throw this right back at me when I throw my next pity party (which I'm currently planning by the way).