I'm still having a tough time of things with work lately. It continues to get me down that some days I feel like I worked so hard and didn't make any headway, and probably even lost some ground. I sunk to the point of bringing mini muffins to a meeting yesterday, hoping that if I could at least associate myself with treats, people might be a little nicer. Jury's out on that one. I am still doing my usual cycle through all the emotions -- stressed, defeated, hopeless, helpless, and worst of all...really alone. It's gotten even better that I have not started to slide down that oh-so-slippery slope of staying late, finally going home and working more at night, and the one that trumps them all, working through the weekend. I'm trying to set small goals or benchmarks for myself because looking any father ahead than a week or two, just terrifies the bajeezus outta me.
So right now, I need a little WILW break to stop thinking about how many things I am NOT loving at the moment.
What I'm Loving Wednesday
I'm loving...Trader Joe's. Just knowing that when I eventually make it home I have some tasty things to heat and eat for dinner makes things a little more tolerable.
I'm loving...those times that I remember to set up my DVR to record my favorites. While it doesn't cure any of my current woes, laying in bed late at night watching "Jerseylicious" can sometimes make me forget about whatever hardships I may have faced that day.
Now, you may want to stop reading here. It's about to get a little too sappy for the usual blog fare...
I'm loving...how helpful and supportive MVP has been during all the mess at work lately. He called me in my office and sat on the phone with me for nearly 40 minutes on Monday when I felt like I was going to have a total collapse. He lets me vent and cry when I need to (even though I am sure I don't make that much sense and I know for sure I am not a cute sorta crier.) He makes me feel like I can make it through another day when all I want to do is cry in the shower (side note, has anyone else out there ever had THAT bad of a time at work where that really and truly is how you start your day?!?) I'm not used to any of this. I'm used to a guy flaking out, or making himself scarce when things get hard. I'm used to someone saying they support you but not actually acting as though they do. I feel beyond grateful that MVP is one of the good ones, and even more that he can look past the hot mess of a girl I am on most days now and still see who I am on the inside. I don't know what I did to deserve him. But in the midst of all that feels like it's falling apart at the moment, I feel like he keeps me from totally giving up on myself. I guess I waited a really long time to find someone who was such a good match for me, and in times like this I feel like I got everything I wanted and then some. MVP was very much worth the wait.