Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Need a little patience

MVP and I have now been officially cohabitating for about two-and-a-half weeks now. People keep asking me how it's going and overall it has been wonderful. The amount of TIME we have each gotten back into our daily lives is crazy.

Our morning routines are quicker because (a) all of our stuff is in the same place, (b) there are two bathrooms so no need to share, and (c) we don't have to account for an hour (and sometimes more) commute. MVP has become a HUGE fan of taking the bus to and from work. I like knowing I can usually get to work in about 20 minutes.

Our after work routine is drastically different too. MVP gets home before I do and usually starts in on making dinner. Even with a meal that took longer to cook than we had originally thought, last night we both looked at the clock when we finally sat down to eat at about 7:15. We thought back to a few weeks ago when that was around the time I might be getting to his apartment after work (if I was lucky and the traffic was not too terrible!)

And while all that time saved means more time to spend TOGETHER...MVP is also really good about giving me my space and time to MYSELF. When I just need to go and read or have time alone.

And we are trying to adjust to each other's "quirks"...MVP puts dirty dishes in the sink instead of directly into the dishwasher, like the sink is some sort of dirty-dish-staging-area. It annoys me to no end, but I just move them to the dishwasher and call it a day. He also leaves his used cup on the counter by the sink, and specifically instructs me to not put it in the dishwasher because he "may need it later." Um.....we are going to bed. Are you waking up in the middle of the night and coming out to the kitchen for a glass of iced tea? Probably not. Just give me the cup so I can put it in the dishwasher.

And MVP has to adjust to my....well, nothing seeing as I am perfect. Kidding, kidding. I know he gets annoyed by my need to load/unload the dishwasher at first opportunity, to clean up immediately after a meal, to not wait until tomorrow to take out the trash.

But I think the biggest thing we don't see eye-to-eye on right now is the rate at which we should be settled. I am well aware of my issues with having a vision/plan of what I'd like to see happen, and then not being realistic about how long it may actually take to get there, and not getting frustrated with a slower pace of progress. Last night MVP remarked that this is fine (with sweeping hand gesture over the living room/dining room)

I had to squelch the small voice inside shouting "No! No it is not fine!" and just try to deal with that conflict internally.

I worry if I don't push, that things won't be unpacked and put away until Christmastime. That we won't jointly find a place for everything...and then put everything in its place. I don't want to be bossy or selfish and just do things the way I want to do them in the way or time-frame I think they should be done.

But clearly we have differing views on how long this whole process should take....

Do I just need a little more patience?


  1. Over from "Its Always FUNNY in Columbubble"....
    "Used cup on the counter....?" Ewwwwww......you'd think he'd have a better place to put it after he's been to the gym. Because, after all...uh...what?...oh...you mean DRINKING cup? Oh. Never mind.
    Those dirty dishes really need to get out of that sink, though.

  2. My husband always rinses his cup and sticks it back on the table to be used later. After 16 years, I am used to it. I don't like it, but he isn't changing.

  3. ahhh... THANK YOU FOR THIS. everyone always says moving in is an adjustment but the good outweighs the bad.

    but how -- i ask

    and no one can give an answer. thank you thank you for your actual feedback. sequel and i are contemplating the big move later this summer.

    stop by and enter my giveaway when you get a chance... i'm sure you will be a pennsylvania girl, too :)


  4. We save the cups to "use later" too.

    I see something like this in your future:


  5. OH..WOW! I'm a freak about the diswasher too. Brad? He likes to hand wash everything and I personally don't think things get as cleaned. We have come to a compromise on some of it.
    I have to say that combining out two homes and things was one of the most exhausting things I have ever done.
    We went to GoodWill like 5,678 times.


  6. When Nick and I moved in together, our biggest problems were:

    1) Cleanlieness. Taking stuff out of your backpack and dumping it out on the guest room floor does not constitute "cleaning."
    2) Washing the dishes. I'm more of the If-you-wash-it-right-after-you-use-it-you-don't-have-to-worry-about-it type of gal, and he's more What?-I-used-a-dish? type of guy.
    3) Eating together. Nick chews louder than any person known to man. Do you know how Lily's nickname is Chewbacca in How I Met Your Mother? Nick's worse.

    Luckily, he has helped my patience and I've helped him learn to at least pretend to care about keeping the condo clean. ;) Can't wait to read more cohabitation stories!

  7. Oh.my.gosh. that pile would drive me mad!