It's not me, it's you

All of the relationship catchphrases that get thrown around had me thinking a while back about how they fit into my own life. Yes, I have read “He’s Just Not That Into You” (most times I wasn’t that into him either — just bored and enjoyed the distraction for awhile) and even once ended things with someone because “They deserved better” (and so did I, as in better than him.) But I keep coming back to that classic “It’s not you, it’s me.” The grandaddy of them all.

Honestly, lately I view things the other way around. As in, it’s not me….it’s you. It has taken me a LONG time to get to this place, but I don’t think I totally suck. I will admit, it was a little hard just typing that…but I did it! People (esp women) can be conditioned to automatically think that a situation being hard or something going wrong has something to do with them and everything is just their fault somehow. And a feeling of never being ENOUGH.

I am trying to be less harsh on myself and cut me some slack — clearly no one else in my life is going to. So I am officially stating for the record, it is not me….so most likely the problem is you.

Like the coworker who yelled at me. Honesty, she got so angry about everything it was almost a growl. How horribly unprofessional. I know you may think it was okay because your boss just stood there and watched and did NOTHING. Maybe she was as shocked as I was that you were having a total meltdown. I am sure you have a hard life outside the office full of bitterness and angst..but get over it. Please be mature enough to not lash out at me because YOU don’t like your crappy life.

When you try hard to be pleasing and make sure others are happy and cared for you can totally lose track of yourself. I actually think I picked this habit up from my sorority stint. You learned the power of group think and putting others thoughts/wants/needs/feelings before your own…and it is so freaking easy to get sucked into it. So while it may have taken me awhile, I am finally dissenting. So with all due respect, chances are it’s not me, it’s you.