Anyone know that feeling? When the woods are so lovely, dark and deep.....but you have promises to keep and miles to go before you sleep.
I feel like that's the new normal in my life.
Sleep is something I have been craving. Can feel how much I need it deep in my bones. But it never seems to come and stay for very long. This past weekend, up before 7 both days, even though there were late late nights. This morning I was up at 4:30. And it's nearing 11pm now....and all I want to do is shut my eyes and sleep. I feel that -- almost truly wish that -- I could sleep for days. Maybe sleepcation is the new staycation?
My mind is too full. I feel like the little hamster is running a marathon on that wheel, and I just cant turn my brain off. I had a moment yesterday where I just wanted to throw my hands up in the air and cry out for help. From who, I don't really know. But I had this overwhelming feeling of being...small. Incapable of doing everything that needed to be done.
Sometimes I will just use my extra awake time to watch Netflix. Sometimes, like this morning, I will just get up and make the best use of time that I can. Who doesn't love getting loads of laundry and dishes done and put away before even getting in the shower, right?
I want to just turn my mind off. I wish there was a switch. I'd love to have my own Freaky Friday and just switch places with someone, completely and totally. Because as much as I need a vacation from my miserable job and a break from uppity, craptastic DC....I really feel like I want a vacation from me. From worrying. From feeling so much stress. From trying so hard to do too much. From trying to be everything I can to everyone. From caring what anyone thinks.
All of it.
That's where I want to put my head down at night. A place that is free from all that junk. Where I can rest both my body and my mind. Where sleep feels good because I am not already afraid of what might be around the corner tomorrow. Where I savor my rest because it was earned by a day of living, and loving and laughing.
Must. Find. That. Place.